Stupidity is, as Shakespeare said, contagious. And therefore it is important to approach the choice of your environment with great responsibility. The only question is how to understand whom to avoid, and to whom, on the contrary - to "impose" as friends. Moreover, many because of their own stupidity do not live as fun as they would like. And even their loved ones - and even more so.
The editors Interesting to know invites you to get acquainted with the abbreviated material of the psychologist, psychotherapist and trainer Maria Tikhonova. The material is aimed at understanding what exactly stupidity is manifested in, and how it can interfere with enjoying life not only for those who deal with such a person, but also for himself. The very concept of stupidity is taken into a framework, the author points out that from "I am humanistic, I am sure that stupidity is a temporary state of mind, something like infant immaturity."
The fool only talks about himself
A mature person understands that communication implies dialogue, exchange of information, emotions, mood. Exchangerather than planting. Of course, there are such cases when you need to speak out, but this, mind you, cases, and not a variant of a pathological solo, when the interlocutor is not even given a chance to insert a word, let alone to tell something. Such a person is definitely not distinguished by the most successful mentality, because he has not yet even realized that the ability to listen is both an important resource in the process of gaining life experience and an important quality in friendly communication. The interlocutor of such a person will definitely one day ask the question “if only I am listening - why not someone more interesting?”.
There is a lot of man, he is loud
First, let's make a reservation, there are cases of special, loud charisma, but these are very rare cases, and we will not talk about them at all, but about those stupid people who often replace the lack of depth and meaning with intensity.
The example is very simple, but that makes it clearer. Imagine: a calm, quiet restaurant, visitors are talking in a low voice, someone even in a half-whisper, someone is working on a laptop. And among this cozy and quiet noise is the annoying voice of a lady who tells the interlocutor the details of her personal life. And already none of the guests of the institution can be on the sidelines. A little more and now the whole restaurant is devoted to the details of the divorce. The lady orders more wine, it gets louder. And those who sit on the street terrace have already heard about her stupidity.
These are the elementary rules of etiquette that everyone seems to know about, but not everyone follows them. And, by the way, in vain. They were created just to make it comfortable not only for you, but also for random people in whose circle you find yourself.
The fool ignores the needs of the interlocutor
In a conversation with such a person, it is especially difficult for delicate people who are afraid of offending, being inappropriate. Meanwhile, their interlocutor fills the entire space, not even wondering that their friend is tired or that it is high time for him to leave, but he can not catch a suitable pause. Such a command is also manifested in more complex situations, when a person has a pronounced lack of need for feedback, and this, in turn, speaks of an infantile confidence in his righteousness. In a word, a person is a fool if he is not able to provide the minimum comfort to the interlocutor.
A foolish man is afraid of everything
A person who is afraid of everything has a simple and always valid scheme - “I won't go there - there is something. I won't go here - there it is. " In fact, the constant search for a zone of safety and comfort hinders evolution. Any living mind needs this evolution and finds ways to either cope with its fears on its own, or asks for help. It is foolish to let your fears orchestrate your life.
Such stupidity has another extreme - when a person rushes into battle without weighing the risks and not comparing them with his own strength. But for many, this second type of "headless horsemen" is nevertheless closer than the waiters, who are afraid of everything.
Action contributes to the acquisition of experience, even if negative, but experience that will one day flow into wisdom. And what kind of experience and wisdom can you talk about with a person who dilutes boredom only with satellite TV channels?
The fool has no doubts about his attitudes
Many psychologists and training authors consider such confidence to be at the height of stupidity. And, you see, it is quite justified. It is enough to throw even a cursory glance at any area of science and at how ideas have changed over time. Something was considered true, indisputable, and then one discovery turned the entire system of knowledge upside down and past beliefs in one day turned into deep delusions.
“In addition, rigid thinking, when a person does not know how to be flexible and take new knowledge into account, is a direct path to Alzheimer's. So modern research says. But who knows, maybe they will change their minds …”- writes psychotherapist Maria Tikhonova.
Divide things into black and white
The categorical attitude, backed up by stubbornness, is another sign of stupidity. Have you noticed? And this text is also saturated with such attitudes. A mature person understands how important halftones, context and situation features are. And by the way, this text is an example of the division into black and white, smart and stupid. After all, each person has his own story and his own experience, which led to the fact that at this stage of life a person speaks only about himself, does not check with the interlocutor, or is captured by fears. Each of us can sometimes behave stupidly, so the best thing we can do is to pay attention to our inner life and give maximum goodwill to the world around us.
psychologist, psychotherapist and trainer
